Stern's Stories

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Name: T. Fraser Stern
Location: Houston, Texas, United States

I am a retired City of Houston Police Officer having served 20 years as a patrol officer. I am currently self employed as an automotive locksmith. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am married to my first and only sweetheart. We met while working at the Astrodome; she was the popcorn girl and I was the soda boy, both working in the back areas during our high school years. We have 3 grown children and two grand children.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Blue Marble

My grandfather gave me a spyglass on my eight birthday so I could see the heavens. I called him Pecaw from a time before language skills developed and the name stuck. He didn’t mind; maybe there’s a rank above “grandpa”, something that only a child notices. I would point my simple telescope, a sturdy cardboard tube painted black with some shiny brass rings to hold the lenses, at the moon. Through it I would wonder about life.

It never occurred to me that one day I would have a grandson to walk with; to point out the stars, the moon and the planets. The wonderful thing about walking with JJ is I become eight years old again and enjoy the night sky with renewed spirit of awe. I certainly never expected to be called, “Peapaw”, an honor to hear; for all I know it means “silly old fart who talks on and on”.

“StarzS, Peapaw, StarzS,!” Jay pointed to the planet Jupiter as the sunset faded into late evening. A jogger approached and quietly acknowledged the special moment we were having; possibly thinking about his own family as he smiled.

“Evenin’. . . nice night.”, his words measured his paced breathing as he continued by us.; glancing upward while Jay pointed at the brilliant object above the horizon. I nodded and returned the smile, a proud knowing smile, while kneeling to sit on the curb next to my grandson.

“Jay, that’s the planet Jupiter.” Jay was two and a half years old and it would be awhile before he would understand the distinction between a planet’s reflected light from that of a distant star’s generated light. The darkening sapphire evening comforter had only a few minutes left, the night’s darkness close to taking over as his young face sparkled back at me. A mockingbird swooped across the street and disappeared into the canopy of a large tree’s branches for the night. It was that magical time when trees lost their green color in favor of the shadows, their having absorbed any light attempting to betray their secrets. The only birds flying above were Purple Martins taking advantage of a swarm of mosquitoes that had volunteered to be a snack.

“Moon!” He pointed to my belt buckle, “Moon! Moon!”. He was right; my belt buckle featured a turquoise shaped moon set against various shades of hardwood mountains with a pitch black sky sprinkled with sterling silver stars. It was all held together in a solid brass frame.

I remember the day I bought that belt buckle. It was 1975 and I was an evening shift police officer assigned to work one of those art fairs at the edge of downtown. It was a hot summer’s day in Houston. I had a given area of the fair grounds to patrol on foot, mainly to be seen in uniform. The crowds, though rather large, were a friendly sort, happy to see a police presence as they enjoyed the flea market atmosphere. There were vendors hawking all manner of semi-artistic items; beads, wind chimes, handmade jewelry, paintings, and custom made belts. I’d passed one particular vendor’s stand several times over the course of the day. Each time I had been captivated by the beauty of his belt buckles. I talked with the fellow, he was from Albuquerque, and he was pleased that I enjoyed his workmanship. He polished and buffed one of them, tempting me to purchase and knowing that each time I stopped his odds of completing a sale improved. Fifty dollars was a lot of money for a belt buckle and I was reluctant, knowing that I would have to admit my weakness as soon as I got home with my new purchase.

“Is that an airplane I hear Jay?”, cupping my ear and exaggerating my anticipation until he too was honing in on the approaching noise that was hidden from view. Jay loved to watch airplanes as they settled into the invisible roads that led to the airport. I wondered if Jay would always look into the skies and appreciate the miracles around him. The moment had been trapped in time as we were both enjoying eternity. In the blink of an eye he would be sitting, pointing into the night sky with his own grandchild wondering how perfect moments happen.

I had been interested in astronomy even as a small boy. I would enjoy the night sky while walking the dog. I can’t remember how many times my grandfather, Pecaw, would direct my attention, pointing up into the heavens, “There is my favorite . ..”, as it cleared the tree line of the early autumn sky, “. . .Orion. See there, his belt with the sword hanging down?” He would draw his finger in the air, “That is where the great nebulae of Orion is found.” He would then talk about the Creation and how God had planned all this, the planets with their individual orbits, the Sun to provide us with energy and the moon to reflect on. Pecaw had a special gift for making the cosmos sound familiar and friendly as opposed to the cold reaches of space as defined by my science teachers. “Its all part of God’s plan.”, He would say, “All part of God’s plan for us to appreciate what we have been given. You ask your Dad, he’ll tell you.” Pecaw died when I was very young and so those walks remain as important memories and my link with him.

Dad had a special marble that he kept on his desk that had belonged to his grandfather. It was a deep cobalt blue marble about three quarters of an inch in diameter. When he wasn’t looking, or at least I thought he wasn’t, I would pick it up and hold it to the light. The lamp on his desk was a miniature Sun and I was holding the Earth between my index finger and my thumb, looking at the oceans completely covering the planet. One day while I was day dreaming, holding the Earth and not paying too much attention, I suddenly noticed that I was no longer alone.

“Still waiting for the dry land to appear?”, he asked in a reverenced hush. The marble was crystal clear all the way through, no cat’s eye or cloudy swaths to interrupt the deep blue cast. I smiled weakly, knowing that I had not asked permission to handle one of his prized possessions. “I remember the day I got that marble. It was at the World’s Fair in, let me think . . ., nineteen. . . thirty three; yes, that was it, nineteen thirty three.” He smiled as he remembered his own youth, “It was my birthday present that year. I’d turned eight and my grandfather thought it would be nice to treat me to see the World’s Fair in Chicago.” Dad may have been in the room with me but his mind was lost somewhere in the past as he recollected his train ride into Chicago, the excitement of having an entire weekend in the big city and having a chance to be with his grandparents.

“I remember going to see some kind of exhibition . . .the Century of Progress Exhibition . . . yes, that was it.”, his voice dropping as he emphasized the importance and weightiness of the times. I had never met Grandfather Copland and yet when my father’s voice would drop into that serious tone it was as if I were hearing him from beyond the veil. There was something about the gravelly voice, the way the words were put together, that of a much older person who had the knowledge of the ages caught in ancient vocal cords pleading with my inexperience and youth.

“You see”, he looked at me, the blue marble catching the light, “Grandfather Copland used to own that very same marble.” He nodded knowingly as we both glanced at its simple beauty. It now became more clear why dad had kept the marble in his coin tray on top of his desk; a constant link with one of his heroes. “Grandfather knew that I was ready to have something of enormous value”, dad’s voice shook with emotions from deep inside of him, “and so he took that marble from his watch pocket and handed it to me. I will never forget the look in his eye, a somber and ominous look that came from the center of his soul, “This is but a shadow of a greater truth and I am placing it in your care.”

It had made for a good story, how much of it was imagination and how much of it was true did not matter; it was something that my dad kept all those years, a gift from Grandfather Copland. “I think Grandfather Copland would want you to have it now that you’re old enough to appreciate what it is.”, dad closed my fingers around it, almost as if he’d given me a hug as the blue sphere became mine.

Dad was a pretty good furniture salesman and he did know the nigh sky; all the same, he was more a dreamer than anything. Dad had no real interest in the mathematical equations that linked one planet’s orbit with another or the chemistry that made it possible to identify which elements had shifted blue or red from distant stars. The night sky was part of his testimony of the Creation and that was good enough for him. I had taken basic science courses in high school, the same ones that everyone did. Later, when I went on to college there were the mandatory classes; Biology, Botany, Chemistry and even Physics. Astronomy was offered; but by then my interests, at least my primary interests, had been geared toward obtaining a business degree. I knew the names of the planets and could find them easily along the equatorial plain along with some of the more prominent stars and their corresponding constellations. I could anticipate the seasonal changes that brought into view different sets of stars. It’s no surprise that my favorite season was autumn; Orion leading the way back to older memories and walks with Pecaw or my talks with dad.

That young fellow who'd jogged by had reminded me of someone; nothing specific and perhaps it was only the fact that he was in his late teens or early twenties. Maybe it was his quiet smile when he looked at me standing next to Jay; no matter. I thought back to one afternoon in my sophomore year at Sam Houston State. I happened to notice a flyer that had been affixed to one of the bulletin boards. It was on the Old Main Building, the oldest and most beautiful structure on the entire campus; a building that, I might add, burned to the ground a few years back.

I remember the ornate stained glass windows and the dark oak wood work; a shame that the sprinkler system had never been installed. Anyway, where was I? John Pratt, an astronomy professor from Utah had been asked to speak regarding his theories on planetary alignment and biblical calendars one Thursday evening. While I read the leaflet my fingers instinctively felt down into the deep recess of my pocket for my marble, the marble I kept with me as surely as my wallet or my car keys. My last final of the semester would be Friday afternoon, Managerial Accounting. I had struggled to keep a low B average and it was important that I do well on the test. In my mind I tossed a coin and never let it land, thinking to myself, “If I don’t know it by now then studying for it all night this Thursday isn’t going to make all that much difference.”

“I sat in the back of the auditorium, the same room that I’d taken Freshman Botany, a mandatory drudgery that most students flunked their first try. It was the same room that the drama club used. The podium was spotlighted in the middle of a moderately sized stage; no microphone was necessary due to the marvelous acoustics fashioned into the hundred year old architecture. There was seating for about a hundred and fifty, a steep grade between successive rows made use of both the first and second floors. The high ceilings and the windows made use of convection currents to keep the temperatures tolerable, there having been no air conditioning considered at the time. The lights in the room were brought down and I had the blue marble in my hand, no longer a simple piece of glass. I held the Creation, as it were, supported on my finger tips where it could float in the vast expanse of space prior to listening to the talk.

“Evening, nice night.”, and with the same breath, “May I have a look at that magnificent bauble?”, from a young man sitting to my right. I had not noticed him, or rather, I’d paid him no regard until that moment. There were five minutes or so until the night’s event. The house lights flickered so that all might take their seats on time. I let the marble roll into the center of my palm, having formed a cup so that it would not fall. I was reluctant to permit a stranger to handle it; all the same, I could see no harm lifting my hand in offering.
“What a magnificent orb!.”, lifting it ever so gently; as if he felt my reluctance in the matter. I saw that as he held the marble, his eye studied each mark that had cankered its once pristine surface. There was a familiarity, a recognition of that which could only be observed with prior knowledge, as he found the various marks on the marble. “God’s fingernail”, a hushed whisper escaped his lips as he pointed to a small indention, a minuscule crease that had been on that marble for as long as I could remember.

“What was that?” Dad had explained the history of the marble, the same way that he had been briefed by Grandfather Copland. The fellow who had given Grandfather Copland the treasure had described all the marks on the marble; the thin indention he had called “God’s fingernail mark”. Dad said that it was the Grand Canyon in miniature, but I think he was checking to see if one of my legs was longer than the other. There was a smile growing across the young man’s face, a pleasant unforced smile.

“You are aware of the significance of this jewel.”, stated with validation and sureness. It was hard to place his accent. His clearly spoken words landed refreshingly crisp on the ear; Mid-west, Iowa or possibly Indiana. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me; when I first had looked at him he appeared to be nineteen of twenty years old at best, then a moment later he had the presence of someone much more progressed, approaching ancient.

“It’s only a marble, a very old marble, that’s all. This belonged to my great grandfather and he’s been dead since; well; before either of us were born”, looking the young man over with a cursory glance. His manner of dress was disjointed; a walking anachronism, more like a “preppie” from the Fifties who’d got warped ahead twenty years. He could easily have come from doing a Bryl-cream or Vitalis hair tonic commercial with his slicked down hair, starched white shirt and pull over sweater vest. The fact remained that the stranger had identified “God’s fingernail mark”, something that would constitute a giant leap in coincidence, were such coincidences possible.

“You’re probably correct.”, handing the marble back with not even the slightest hint of contention. It seemed odd that he would be certain one moment and at once recant.

“How did you know about the mark, “God’s fingernail mark”?”, holding it up for inspection.
“It is a very unique piece of glass; surely you have been given its history?” Dad had never mentioned it in those terms, like it was the Hope Diamond or some such piece of jewelry. Maybe I hadn’t paid enough attention to the wild yarn. Dad told me; on more that one occasion, “Your grandfather thinks that an angel gave him this marble, an angel who knew God.”, or something like that.

“It belonged to my father and before him, his grandfather. I had no idea that it had any value or noteworthy legend.” The small blue marble sitting in my hand was all but black in the dimly lighted reaches of the back row.

“Then you will enjoy this evening’s presentation all the more. Its time to be quiet now.”, placing his finger in front of his lips as the lights in the hall diminished until only the spot light shone on the podium.

“Tonight our guest speaker is John Pratt, noted astronomer and biblical historian. His remarks will, no doubt, be interesting to all as he explains the cosmos in terms we can all relate to. Doctor Pratt will now address us on, “The Planets, Shadows of a Greater Truth”, Doctor Pratt.” There was a cordial yet generous applause as the spot light followed John Pratt from the edge of the stage until he took up his position behind the podium. I had never heard of John Pratt and had never read any of his books when I decided to attend the instructional presentation. My interest was similar to going to a show to be entertained.

Sometimes I would sit on one of the benches in the quadrangle in the late afternoon to listen while the students practiced their instruments; phrases from familiar classics streamed on a light breeze and I knew that many hours of labor had produced those sounds. I had no skills in music other than to enjoy the efforts of those who did. Astronomy appealed to me in much the same way as I sat toward the front of my seat to listen.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen and thank you.” He picked up a pitcher of water that had been placed on the podium and filled a glass, taking a couple of short sips to prime the pump. “Can anyone tell me where the planet Venus was on the day Mary found the stone rolled away from the tomb of Jesus?” John Pratt looked out into the darkness; a few hands went up around the room. “Well, I see that some of you have read my book, that’s refreshing.” He let out a light rumble of laughter and resumed; pointing to a young man in the front row who had mouthed the appropriate answer, inaudible to the better part of the audience. “You are correct, Sir. Venus was in “Resurrection” as it is called to those familiar with its pattern of appearance either in the evening or the morning sky.”

I was distracted now, wanting to hear the presentation while flashes of my own childhood memories interrupted my efforts to concentrate on the talk. How was it that I would enjoy this evening’s lecture more holding grandfather’s marble? Who was this fellow sitting next to me, younger than myself or so it seemed and yet …? The program continued as Professor Pratt had brought slides that were illuminated on a large screen behind him; he continued to explain his ideas.

“The cycle of Venus requires about 584 days to complete, and Mercury requires 116 days. Both of those values are one day short of being a multiple of 13: 585 = 45 x 13 and 117 = 9 x 13. Thus, the 13-day trecena is an excellent unit of time to track both of these planets. In fact, the period of Venus is about five times that of Mercury and 585 equals exactly five time 117. Moreover, the 263-day period that Venus spends as morning and evening stars nearly equals one Sacred Round of 260 days. Because of these coincidences, the Venus and Mercury calendars I have designed are aligned with the Sacred Round. That is, the day of creation, birth, prime, death, and resurrection of both Venus and Mercury always occur on a day "1" of the 13-day trecena. On the proposed Venus calendar, there are always exactly 260 days, or one Sacred Round, between the days of birth and death, which agrees with Native American traditions.” (footnote: The Planets, Shadows of a Greater Truth by John Pratt )

I was listening and watching as the orbits of each planet were shown along with the appointed dates of alignment. Was he making this up as he went along; what the heck was a trecena? Much of what was being discussed had the flavor of a religious ceremony as opposed to a purely scientific proposition. I looked around to see if they were going to start passing collection plates.

“The Lord stated, "And behold, all things have their likeness, and all things are created and made to bear record of me, . . . things which are in the heavens above, . . . all things bear record of me." (Moses 6:63). Thus we see that these words can be taken literally. The planets not only bear record of the times of key events in the Savior's life, they sometimes even bear record of what the event was. For example, the planet Venus was "resurrecting" on the day the Savior did. Truly the celestial spheres are "for signs and for seasons" (Gen. 1:14) as the Lord instructed Moses.” ( footnote: The Planets, Shadows of a Greater Truth by John Pratt)

Pecaw had always told me that the stars and the planets were part of God’s creation for us to enjoy and here was a professor of astronomy, come all the way from Utah, to validate that. There was a warm feeling that came from deep within, something witnessing to me that the information was true. I was not up on biblical history; having avoided going to church most of my life, all the same some of the references were of books; presumably in the scriptures, not familiar to me. The first five books of the bible; Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy, going over them in my head and counting them on my fingers as I named each one, had been delivered by Moses, or at least that’s what I had been taught. I was not aware of a book called “Moses”. The more I listened the more I heard about books I never knew existed.

“Did you ever…”, turning to ask if he’d ever heard of a Book of Moses; he was gone. Maybe he’d gone to the restroom and would return. There would be a chance to ask him after the lecture; at least I hoped to have that opportunity.

“The Lord stated that Abraham knew the set time of the moon. The value for the average length of the lunar month on which the Hebrew calendar has long been based is 29.530594 days.
That value is far better than any other used in antiquity, and today's calculation of the average value (29.530593 days) only differs by 0.000001 day, which is less than a tenth of a second. The Hebrew value is so phenomenally good that I've believed for years that it must have been revealed and that the lunar orbit was designed to come out even in Hebrew time units. This revelation to Abraham might explain the origin of this super-accurate value. It is also possible, however, that the value had been known by Enoch, and was contained in the records in Abraham's possession (Abr. 1:31). The revelation states only that he knows it, not that it was being revealed at that time.” (footnote: John Pratt’s article “Abraham’s Three Truths”)

Here was reference to a Book of Abraham; I would have to find these books and read them for myself. I glanced over my program; more had been given in one meal than I could digest. On the back was a brief biography of Professor John Pratt along with information on how to order a soft cover compilation of his writings. I would have to think some more before ordering; twenty five dollars plus shipping and handling was rather steep. My job delivering for Ralph’s Pizza paid almost nothing. They had a small fleet of VW Bugs that could be seen all over campus to advertise and deliver to the dorms; a large pizza logo on every side of the car with Ralph’s Pizza in bold letters. The main reason I had taken it was because I would be guaranteed at least one real meal each day. I was living on the proverbial shoe string and counting pennies, not dollars. Every once in a while I would sell my free pizza to my roommate, take that money and buy a burger just to have a change of pace.

“Interesting stuff, huh?” My new found friend had returned and prodded my thoughts. It was a statement requiring only a nod of agreement, almost as if he had heard this information before.

“’Great, a little deep; but great all the same.” I had never met this young man before, all the same he reminded me of my walks with Pecaw, somehow becoming a familiar spirit by proxy. There was something worth knowing about this fellow, like solving a puzzle in the Sunday Times. The house lights came up as the event came to its inevitable conclusion and I escaped the rigid confines of an uncomfortable chair.

“Come with me, I think you should meet John and get to know him a little better.”, pulling my arm as he moved into the isle. Sitting on the back row had its advantages; one being that getting out of a crowded room was much easier, not so this time. Here we were, a couple of human salmon fighting the current of bodies as we made our way toward center stage. Any reluctance that I had held in reserve evaporated with each passing step.

“John, over here.”, waving to flag his attention. I noticed there was an instant recognition, so much so that Dr. Pratt, who had been engaged in direct conversation with someone else, dropped that person’s hand shake and lost interest immediately. It was the same as when meeting your brother who has been out of the country for several years. Passing time with a total stranger, talking about the latest sports scores up until that moment comes and your brother steps into view; there is no pretense that the earlier conversation was meaningful as you turn away, possibly without even a shallow attempt to conclude with a social pleasantry.
“How long has it been, too long my brother.”, Dr. Pratt could not contain the emotions as he hugged and that hug was returned. I stood respectfully a couple of steps back as the two revived their relationship, mostly by their eye contact and the nodding of heads rather than verbally.

“John, I have someone you need to meet with.”, turning to catch me with his other hand. “William Story, John Pratt.”, arranging that our hands should shake as he introduced us to each other.

“I enjoyed the seminar very much, Sir”.

“Call me John, please. William Story…?”, a momentary hesitation of thought, “…do I know you, somehow there is a familiarity about you?” Call me crazy; but I had to agree; there was a way about him, his eyes maybe or was it something less obvious? From the back row I had only a fuzzy humanoid basic structure; nothing that would have given particulars such as personal features.

“I don’t think so, pleased to meet you, er..a. John.” He had a powerful grip while shaking hands, not like he was trying to show off his strength, more friendly than that; all the same it was plain that he did more than do lectures and write about the stars.

“Show John what you showed me earlier.” There was a brief aside as John glanced over and then back to me as I retrieved the marble from my blue jeans. I could feel that his hand had left my shoulder, the cool air notified me. He was leaving and it dawned on me that I didn’t know his name. Come to think of it, I had never given him mine; how was it that he was able to introduce me so easily?

“Say hello to your brother Jared for me when you see him.”, John extended a wave as I brought the blue marble up higher so that the light would shine on it. The corner spot lights still aimed at center stage made the orb shine magnificently, the beams striking it made the rest of the room disappear in comparison. I know there were still quite a few of the audience by the background noise; and yet there was a distinct silence in that two or three foot circle where we stood. John Pratt breathed in and stood erect upon recognizing the object; something which most folks would have simply assigned to be an ordinary glass marble; it was similar to what I had experienced earlier in the evening.

“My goodness, so we do have something in common.” His voice was clear and hushed as he reached into his own pocket. When his hand came out there was no mistaking that he too had a marble, only his was a clear amber color He handed it to me, making a point to hold it a certain way so that as I took it from him I would have a particular view. “Interesting mark, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Huh, oh my!” It was the same indention, God’s fingernail mark.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Pecaw's Gift / Chapter 42 Lemons or Lemonade


“Officer Dosilmeyer, I’m Lt. Rayford. Since you’ve been away from the station there’ve been a few changes; I am now your night shift commander.” Sinclair did not know the man or anything about him. He appeared to be one of the spit and polish types; his uniform was immaculate right down to his plastic leather look alike shoes. His manners seemed to match up to the same high standard. Sinclair quietly waited; not having sufficient data to evaluate, but temporarily impressed none the less.

“My last duty assignment, before requesting a change of stations was I.A.D.” Sinclair’s left brow shot up, the mere mention of those letters brought dark thoughts to his mind.

“It figures.” Sinclair slipped momentarily, allowing his true feelings to be expressed; knowing all to well that he should have keep his mouth shut.

“Now wait just a minute before getting yourself all cranked up about me.” Lt. Rayford had a pleading in his voice which struck a cord with Sinclair. “I know a fair amount about your situation, more than most of the command staff. It may come as a surprise to you, but not everyone in I.A.D. is the total and complete asshole you’ve conjured up in your mind.”

“Hurmph !”, unable to contain the automatic response.

“I suppose that covers your opinion of I.A.D.”

“Why are you here, not to be rude or anything?”, but at the same time showing questionable manners. Sinclair glared out in his general direction, forming a scowl as his lower lip became tighter.

“I came to clear the air on a few issues that might help all concerned.”, reaching to his shirt pocket he removed a gray metal canister and unscrewed the end. Sinclair’s old partner had bought many cigars; these were not cheap.

“Go on, Sir.” Sinclair remained cautious, having been “helped” by the Department on other occasions.

“I wasn’t assigned to your specific investigation; however, some of the information I had from another complaint crossed over and so I had a chance to review your file. I read about everything you ever did or that they thought you did.” His hands spread to emphasize the thickness of Sinclair’s personnel folder. “Your a peculiar type of guy. It’s unusual to find that you are still with the Department, not that I find fault with what you’ve done as an officer; but, that you would manage to put up with the way things are done here.”

“I suppose that could be taken as a compliment. Was that your intent?”

“It was.”

“You still haven’t explained why your here. I mean, I must have talked to every supervisor in this Department; what could I tell you that you haven’t already heard about or read?” For a few moments the two men looked at each other very seriously, not sure of how to proceed. Lt. Rayford carefully relaxed himself as he began explaining his intentions to Sinclair.

“Dosilmeyer, it would have pleased the Captain no end to have you fired, for any reason. Its no secret that the two of you don’t get along; never have from what I’ve read. He reviewed every aspect of the your incident and subsequent responses to the Internal Affairs people.” Lt. Rayford paused as he studied Sinclair’s reaction. “As far as I’m concerned you acted properly, but the Captain; well he said that you acted out a hostility based on a racially motivated dislike for Hispanics. As he put it; “ I got him fired once and can do it again.”

“Wouldn’t put it past him.”, looking at a spot on the ceiling as he spoke. “So, where does that leave me? They’re keeping me here under observation; supposedly until they can figure out what’s goin’ on inside my head.” Sinclair wasn’t sure how much Lt. Rayford knew as he tossed the explanation out. “I’d like to get out of this place and back to work.”

“Not much chance of that. I’ve read all the medical and psychological reports. It will be the Departments contention that you are no longer able to act in the capacity of a police officer. Like I said earlier, I can find no fault in any of your actions relating to the incident that has taken place; but there are several other members of the command staff who are not sure how to close the book on this. I have recommended that you to pick up a full medical pension.” Lt. Rayford sat back as he took the cigar and played with it, never intending to light it. Had he been in the military it would’ve been a swagger stick instead. “You need to accept the fact that your not going to return to the Department.” Sinclair breathed out heavily as each word repeated itself inside his mind.

“You really don’t think I can make it back to full duty status then, do you?” Sinclair had been building his endurance up with the expectation of resuming some semblance of a normal life. He thought he would always be a police officer or at least for as long as he wanted to remain in that position. The idea of being run off was repugnant to his being.

“As I told you, I took the liberty of going over your medical charts. These unexplained departures from reality would make it nearly impossible . . .”, rolling the cigar as if it had been laden heavy with ash, “. . . the Department could never assume such a risk; that’s why they’re have to let you leave with a full medical pension.”

“I only have six years more to achieve pension status. I could work the desk or disappear into some quiet place like uniform supply division. There wouldn’t be much of a risk to the City there, would there?”

“Why would you want to hang around here six more years?” Lt. Rayford pointed the cut end of the cigar at Sinclair to make his point. “So you stick it out and get the minimum pension at forty five percent of base pay; why do that when you can leave now and pick up a full pay check under a medical release? You think about it for a minute; but its already a done deal.”

“When I first realized the extent of the injuries I had to overcome, well; I entertained the notion of a medical pension. It would have been easy to lay back and not go through the pain of rebuilding these muscles. I quit taking the pain pills a long time ago just to see if I could get through the day without help. I wore the edges off my molars the first week, but I got off them.” Lt. Rayford listened politely and let Sinclair continue without interruption.

“I did it so that one day I could get back in that damned blue and white police car. I’ve paid my dues and want to go on with it.”

“You’re not listening. My recommendation has already been approved. The Chief ran it by the pension board; starting Monday you are no longer to be carried on the roster.”
Getting up from his chair, Lt. Rayford stood and walked over to the edge to look out the window. “That’s where Sgt. Perry got hit the other night, isn’t it ?”, placing the cigar in the corner of his mouth as he continued without waiting for Sinclair to make any kind of response. “In case you’re wondering; the answer is yes. I was working a case up on Perry. From all the evidence, it appeared that he and his partner were making a sizable income by helping undocumented laborers obtain fraudulent papers.”

“So, Perry WAS in that apartment!” Sinclair found some more of the pieces beginning to fit.

“We were never able to actually tie him directly to that apartment, but it does fit. He was making regular deposits to his checking account and all the money came from the same management company that ran those apartments. We were able to trace the money to some fairly prominent crooks; but that is not important now that he’s dead. The other night when he was killed in the parking lot, we had been following him. I don’t want to needlessly upset you; but, I feel quite certain that he had come here, under instructions from his other employer, to finish you off.”

“So I’ve been told.” Sinclair matter of factly responded.


“How did you know? It has not been made public and there are only a handful of people who are aware of this.” Sinclair smiled as he thought of how to explain his source.

“I just knew; go on.”

“As I was saying, only a select few have been made aware of these findings; the Chief, Doctor Chatterly, and myself. We have decided that it would be safer for you to complete the rest of your recuperative efforts away from here.”

“You mean that I can get out of the hospital?”

“Yes, Dr. Chatterly felt it was a waste to have kept you here for the last month as it is; he’ll be along within the next half hour to go over the necessary forms.”

“This is too good to be true.”

“Actually we have reason to believe that this is the best way to prevent another attempt on your life. The way we see it, by rendering your testimony as “unreliable”; these guys will have no reason to worry about you anymore. You would no longer be a liability to them.”

“So I’m some kind of lunatic; is that what your putting down?” Sinclair was not thrilled at what he was hearing.

“Would you rather be a live lunatic or a dead cop?”

“I ahhhh. . .”

“We will make a statement to the press explaining your medical retirement from the Department. It will include a brief account of the irreparable damage in your brain to
certain reasoning functions, as a result of your valiant efforts in the line of duty.” Lt. Rayford stopped for a moment as he noticed Sinclair’s shoulders droop slightly.

“So that’s it? I just sit around and play dumb for the rest of my life?”

“Not exactly; that is unless that’s what you want. Well?” Lt. Rayford again pointed the cigar at Sinclair. “I had the idea that you might want to continue to help, sort of put your special talents to good use.”, raising the corner of his smile half an inch as an inducement.

“What talents would you be referring to, Sir?”

“We’ll work on that after your free and clear of this place.” Lt. Rayford opened the door and nodded the he had completed what he had come for. Turning back to Sinclair, “I did forget one thing.”, a broad smile broke across his face. “The station took up a collection. They all figured it would be used for flowers or something dumb like that.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an plain white envelope and handed it to Sinclair. Looking at the bills and making a rough guess, he figured it to be about two or three hundred dollars. Lt. Rayford held the door open as Bev came into the room. She had been given a briefing of everything only moments before Sinclair himself. It was a dream come true for Bev; no longer would she have to wait up wondering about the welfare of Sinclair as he rode around the streets all night. As she walked past Lt. Rayford she thanked him with a quiet smile.

“I don’t know what to say, which is not like me at all.”

“Why don’t you and your wife take a weekend trip, you know, get back together.”, Lt. Rayford exaggerated his smile.

“What do you think, Hun?” Bev waited as Sinclair closed his eyes in thought.

“We could take that trip up to Dallas like we planned last Spring. Yea, that’s a good idea.” Bev had already packed an overnight bag for him.

“The car’s all gassed up and ready, Bek’s watchin’ the kids for the rest of the week and I called the Dallas Temple as soon as I found out we could go.” Bev reached into the depths of her purse and pulled the family group forms that had been put on hold since the accident.

“Guess that about does it. You don’t need me in here.” Lt. Rayford gracefully extricated himself from the room and let the door close behind him.

Pecaw's Gift / Chapter 41 Loose Ends

Sinclair had been asleep for a couple of hours while Savat was sitting across the street. He was light years from reality; having enjoyed a mountainous helping of Devil’s Food cake prior to going to bed. The shielded walls had minimized the outside world’s constant bombardment, but had not eliminated it totally. Streams of random data continued to flow through the unobstructed window and there was the intentional gap directly above him. Moe continued to observe and report the daily activities as the siphoned bits highlighted not only Sinclair’s progress; but marked, all too vividly, his weaknesses.

"Boss, our boy is off on one his trips again.” Moe watched as the vast amounts of illogical characters paraded across the monitor.

“Thank you for calling. I was just about to come down and check on that file.”, talking into the receiver as he postured himself to his audience. He rolled the end of his cigar at the edge of a large brass tray. The last half inch of ashen leaf parted and fell quietly as it collapsed on itself; the finely compacted structure being unable to support itself. “I’ll get back with you later. I’m in a very important meeting with the Chief of Police”, he casually placed the handset down while continuing to hold eye contact with his guest.

“Sorry to have bother . . .”, the click of the phone being cradled ended the conversation, “ . . . ‘ed you, Boss.” Moe did not mind having been hung up on; it was part of the job. He lighted another cigarette and wrote down another entry on the “file”. He watched as Sinclair’s ramblings became even more absurd.


“LKDAFS034IKJNVDF98G3OI4LHKJANSDHN Pecaw . . .

Is that you Pecaw? 98747523UI45YOUIQYQET87SDGFY4399878
394597459Y245SDFGAHJ
012778kpk What are you doing there outside the window?

F114888888888888
34754513745173451735471253471253475147545RGC34

961346736416348666^^
679*8H2HHh567*9856*784**657*84999296736187864 -E1

Pecaw ?”

The conversation was mixed with the enormous avalanche of mixed characters; which
made it easier to pick out his thoughts.

“Hush up Chowder Head. I’m trying to concentrate.” Pecaw often let loose a mild scold in such a way that it came out as a hug. He turned only slightly to wink in Sinclair’s direction.

“KHhhkjhkHHIYYrrtrdfdDGFDGHJJgjggjgFFJHUgUGU

guguugGugu
GgUGj ioquweqlkj I hjhkladsfhkaj love keruihydiuhviahiwkj
hefkjhna you fhjakhfkabhyi too. uioiokadshfkhkh adjhfkjla_huiuyyyyyiuyllkl;====asodjfiquhqhhhwhwnamahjkh
Pecaw
ahkh1212424242141424144535353152515155245redqtrwr. . .”

“I know you do.” Pecaw was watching the activity in the parking lot below. “Looks like your old friend Sgt. Perry had some bad luck; yes Sir, some bad luck.”

“ . . guygugGGUuiuipoiIIHJOUIQKJHOElHLHAKAKJkhjkhkGHJKGA SHAKHKJAjhjkhkKHZHHihhIUHIhHhhhHUIETETReyPIP;HJGSRED

ghjkl;lKJHTYf

.. .. Good! hajsgdjgajGJKSKGHKHJGAHGHJASDJHQUIRI

UIOOPWEIOPL..MWE

That jalkjklj adjksjlakjfl sorry lkajsldjfljaljsdljfassholehasjkdhf hadskfjh . . .”

“Such foul language; I won’t have you talking about the dearly departed in that manner. It shows a lack of respect for the dead.” Pecaw was not one for swearing. The only thing that kept him from getting angry with Sinclair was the fact that Pecaw had been stationing himself nearby as a sentry. He looked back through the glass that separated his “being” from the room and chuckled to himself as he saw the reflection.

The lamps from the parking lot bounced beacons of light blue from his forehead. His hair was jet black with a regal sash of stunning gray to the sides. The squared edges of his brow peaked, “I suppose so.”, turning as the spirit of Sgt. Perry left his earthly body. Pecaw laughed to himself, “That’s one less sorry asshole after my grandson!”

Pecaw then thought for a moment as he glanced toward the window ledge and the room
directley above him, “You getting all of this Moe? ‘ Wouldn’t want you to miss anything
now.”

“I felt that thought.”, Sinclair rebounded as the idea passed his mind. “What did you mean when you said that Sgt. Perry was one of the dearly departed dead? What’s going on out there? Sinclair’s mind was still reeling from the chocolate rush as the thought process kicked into gear.

“Mr. Sanderson, sorry to bother you again. Something you need to know about just developed.” Moe had come to rely on the information that flashed out from Sinclair’s head. The words splashed onto the screen faster than a Wall Street ticker tape.

“Any time now you should be getting a call from security to inform you that a police officer, Sgt. Perry to be specific, has been run over and killed in our parking lot.” Moe continued to watch Sinclair’s thoughts as he held the phone to his ear.

“Thank you again, and yes my telephone line just flashed.” Sanderson picked up the other line and listened as the emotional guard gave an account of the terrible accident; nodding and acting surprised. Chief Denson’s driver, Officer Fernandez, knocked and entered without waiting, then walked purposefully to where the Chief was sitting. He leaned over and whispered the dread news, all at the same moment.

“I need to excuse myself Jack; one of our officers has just been involved in a terrible automobile accident.”

“Yes, I was just given the same information. It happened in the east parking lot a few moments ago. That was one of my security guards on the telephone. He was pretty upset by it all. Charlie, if you don’t mind, why don’t I go down there with you?”

Chief Denson looked to his driver who nodded his head with a short bobbing motion;
indicating the information was accurate.

“I’d rather you didn’t Jack. I will need to focus all of my attention on the investigation. Let me get back with you after I’ve had a chance to assess the situation.”

Chief Denson held eye contact as the two executives acknowledged the need to carry out
their respective responsibilities.

“You’re right; I’d only be in the way. I’ll make sure that all my people cooperate in the fullest. Let me know if there is anything . . .”

“Thanks Jack; I will.”, turning to Fernandez to change the subject. “Who’s in charge at this time?”

“I was told that an off duty Homicide unit was the first unit; a Sgt. J.D. White is holding the scene for now.” The two exited the executive offices and made their way to the parking lot. Several marked units had set up a perimeter as they made it across to the crime scene. A steady tide of blue uniforms came by as if to bid farewell, not really having an official reason to be in the area. A few more minutes passed and the investigative units from Homicide and I.A.D. began to filter in, polyester suits holding clip boards and tape measures mapped out the entire area.

“Chief Denson, I’m J.D. White. I was the first unit here. He had just been run over and the suspect was leaving as I pulled in. I put out the G.B. and tried to follow; but he was already out of sight by the time I figured out that anything had happened to begin with.” J.D. felt uncomfortable as he continued to brief Chief Denson. “I was here to visit a friend of mine. I never got a look at the suspect, only that he was in an old white Chevy Caprice; looked like a Caprice, or something similar.”

“Did you have any conversation with Sgt. Perry before he died?”

“Not really much that he said. He did comment that he had gotten rusty, that’s about all he said. I don't think he saw much.” J.D. paused for a moment then added, “He didn’t look like he was in much pain. I know that sounds improbable under the circumstances, but he had a look about him that just . . . I don’t know . . . peaceful, something like that.”

“Sgt. White, I know this has been a stressful event for you too; but I want you to go over this with Lt. Stromberger as well as the I.A.D. team. You can come in tomorrow and type up your official statement.” Chief Denson patted J.D. on the back as he walked over to where the body lay covered with a pale blue paper sheet. A pool of thick blood crept out and away from the under the edge of the body blanket. There were flashes from the investigator’s cameras. The Chief pulled back the corner of the blanket. The television news teams were close enough that the whole grizzly scene was brought into focus. The early morning news casters would have some fresh garbage to splash across the screen.

“We’re ready to load the body now. Who’s in charge of the personal effects?” The Medical Examiner looked to the Chief.

“Lt. Stromberger is in charge of the Homicide investigation and will take an inventory of those items.” Chief Denson turned to make sure that the suggestion was understood.

“I was just about to do that Chief.” Lt. Stromberger bent down and began removing items while talking into a micro-mini tape recorder. “Top left suit pocket contained one silver tone Cross ball point pen, two cigars in metal canisters . . .” Each item was listed on a sheet of paper by another detective; I.A.D. looked on and kept notes of their own. “ . . . one five and a quarter inch computer data disk, one Day Planner, assorted papers of a personal nature . . .” The inventory continued as each item was listed and bagged.

“Was Sgt. Perry working on an assignment or was he here on his own?” Chief Denson's question was directed toward Lt. Davis who represented the Internal Affairs Division.

“I don’t have any information on that at this time Chief. It will take a while to go through his files before that can be determined.”

“He may have been.” J.D. broke in hesitantly, not wishing to speak out of turn.

“Go ahead Sgt. White, we’re listening.” Chief Denson and the respective investigative heads waited for his reply.

“Well. . .”, clearing his throat and wishing he didn’t have to speak, “ . . . I was coming here to visit officer Dosilmeyer, an old partner of mine. He’s here recovering from an injury on duty that Sgt. Perry was investigating.” The Chief looked at the body being loaded into the black Suburban body car.

“It would be nice for his family if we could cover this as a duty related death.” He pondered for a moment as the situational requirements fell into place.

“Sanderson here, did anyone visit the file room tonight Moe?”, tapping his fingers.

“That’s kind of hard to say, yes and no.” Moe was having a hard time trying to explain Pecaw’s Spirit.

“Moe, this is not like you. I want to know who, if anyone, entered the room and what they did while they were there.”

“No. . .body , that is nothing with a body entered the room boss. I think there was a ghost of something, but nobody.”

“Then Sgt. Perry never went in to the room?”

“Sgt. Perry? Oh, no sir; I’d have seen him for sure. No, Sgt. Perry never went in the room.”

“What’s this nonsense about a ghost?”

“It’s all on the tape sir; honest.” Moe was still working on a way to explain what he had observed.

“I’ll be up there in a while. Try not to go off the deep end.” Sanderson clicked the phone off and immediately called another number. There was a subtle change, his confidence level was not as high. He waited for a moment as the line was picked up on the other end. A familiar beeping tone alerted him that he had reached a recording machine.

“ . . . please leave a short message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Beep. . . beep.”

“Lou this is Jack. That file is still open and the I need to talk regarding how to proceed. Get with me in the morning.”

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Pecaw's Gift / Chapter 40 Rusty


Savat waited in the parking lot as the hours passed. The radio played a list of golden oldies as the local FM jock made fun of the hard rock station between songs. Savat had rented a six year old white Chevrolet Caprice with no distinguishable features or markings. The people at Wrent a Wreck did not ask for any identification; only a cash deposit in advance. The emptiness of the night hung in the air as the time past. He watched as the Metro bus dropped off and picked up, each half hour then only each hour. Nurses and orderlies, secretaries who had worked late in their offices downtown, sales clerks and car wash attendants all made their way to their respective homes past the rusted white Chevy parked across from the hospital. They did not notice the reflection from Savat’s cold stare or that he was continually polishing the blue steel revolver that he held hidden in the shadow created by the dash board. He sat motionless behind the wheel watching the nearly vacant parking lot as the sodium lamps cast their imperfect light across the concrete. He lighted another cigarette; a plume of blue smoke escaped the half rolled down window. He reviewed the file and memorized the pictures that it contained while he waited.

J.D. made his way down the deserted freeway as he chomped away on the end of a stubby cigar. Now and then he would laugh; thinking of things he and Sinclair had done in the line of duty. They had been good for each other and it was no trouble at all to make the trip out to see him. He saw the Kroger store up ahead, “Almost forgot to pick up that bar of dark chocolate.”, as he steered into one of the spaces up near the front. He quickly made his way inside, picked up the item and went to pay for it at the check out stand.

“You were in the other night. You must like that cooking chocolate a lot.” The young girl at the register was testing her ability to carry on a conversation. J.D. just grunted in his own objectionable way.

“Not really; I just like to watch it melt in the trunk of my car.” J.D. had no idea what it meant. He took out his money clip and peeled off a pair of ones.

“No need to be rude.” The girl rang up a dollar fifty nine and hit the total button. “Your change is forty one cents, Sir.”, handing him a lump of coins with his receipt.

“Another nickel, you said forty one, where’s the other nickel?”, holding his palm out for her to see the quarter, dime and penny.

“I’m sorry, Sir.”, reaching into the tray and picking up the rest of his change. “It was an honest mistake. Please, don’t say anything to the manager.”

“Not a word.” J.D. headed out the door and was back enroute to see Sinclair.

Sgt. Perry was also on his way to the hospital; his left hand on the wheel while he kept the other fidgeting in his coat pocket. He came to a stop at the light two blocks from the hospital. When it turned green he paused, not seeing it until the guy behind him blasted the horn. His foot lunged awkwardly onto the accelerator as his thoughts were far from driving. Lou had suggested that he enter Sinclair’s room, insert a needle full of air into his arm and that would be the end of it. His right hand fondled the instrument of death deep in his pocket. “Up yours too you creep.”, forming the one finger salute as the car past him by, honking his horn and yelling obscenities at him.

Savat observed the Ford LTD at the corner. The solid blue car did not have a vinyl top like most of the Crown Victorias. It had black side wall tires instead of white walls, plain hub caps and a nearly invisible second antennae on the rear deck; a city ride. He watched as it pulled into the hospital parking lot and turned off its head lights. The driver’s door swung open; a pair of legs hit the ground as Sgt. Perry got out of the car.

Savat watched him cover the short distance to the back door of the hospital. Sgt. Perry was beginning to break out into a cold sweat as he considered the action he was about to take. He passed the receptionist on his way to the elevators.

“Hope you get to feeling better.”, the words caught him as he took a handkerchief from his pocket. The pale chalky color of his forehead announced the sickening feelings that had welled up in his stomach. He looked quickly for a restroom where he could regain control and without looking back, held his hand out as a mild acknowledgement.


He found the door to the men’s room just as the burst of vomit forced its way out; spattering across the small square tiles. He washed off at the sink, looking into the
mirror and wondering what kind of cop he had become.

“What the hell am I doing here?” He was talking to himself as the finality of what he was about to do surfaced. “I can’t go through with this!” He reached into his pocket and fumbled for the syringe that he had planned to kill Dosilmeyer with. He grabbed a couple of paper towels, wrapping them around the tools of death. “I just can’t do it.”, throwing the small package into the trash. He stood in front of the mirror and let the water run for a while longer as the color returned to his face. He felt the weight lift from his shoulders, having taken a new path. A few minutes later he walked out of the restroom.

“Your looking much better now.”, the receptionist commented as he walked by.

“Yes, thank you. Oh; you’d better call for a janitor. I’m afraid I made quite a mess in there.”

“Not to worry. You just take care of yourself sir.”

Perry headed across the parking; his burden of poor choices having been momentarily lifted. He never saw the car gathering speed as it closed on his position. Reaching for his keys, he unlocked the door and opened it. Savat had the pedal floored; believing that Sgt. Perry had finished off Dosilmeyer. The hood ornament lined up the target. There was a slight crumpling sound on impact as the door and Sgt. Perry became enmeshed with the front left fender. Savat’s car sped quickly out of the parking lot and down Hollister; flicking the high beam lights as he came to an oncoming car.

“Blind me; why don’t ya’? You ignorant Son of a . . .", J.D. swerved to avoid the pale white and rust Chevy barreling past him. He turned into the hospital parking area, unaware that Sgt. Perry had just been run over and left for dead. The security guard wasn’t sure what to do as he left his station and got into an improvised golf cart to investigate the disturbance. He puttered at five or six miles per hour across the lot; a single head light aimed skyward. Upon finding Sgt. Perry sprawled on the ground the security guard flagged down J.D. as he pulled in.

“Stop that car! Stop that car! It just ran over this guy and kept on going. Stop that car!” , pointing in the direction from which J.D. had just come.

“Wha’d it look like? Was it that dark colored Datsun that just went by?”, knowing that it wasn’t.

“No, it was all white and had some rust, yea lots of rust along the bottom at the doors.”, still pointing down Hollister.

“That’s the same car that hit me with the high beams just a few seconds ago.” J.D. cut a donut in the driveway and sped off in pursuit. He had not looked at the fallen driver and could not have known yet that it was Sgt. Perry. When he got back onto Hollister the street was empty. He raced down to Hammerly and glanced both ways. He pounded the dash once and headed back to the scene. By the time he got back a small crowd had gathered around. A couple of nurses who had been walking to their cars were busy applying their skills. J.D. looked down and recognized him. “Did ya’ get a good look at the guy who did this to ya”?

“No, never saw it coming. I must be getting rusty.”, his head being supported on the lap of one of the nurses. He was in bad shape; the blood was thick as it stained the starched white material of the uniform. J.D. reached into Perry’s car for the mike.

“Twenty Nora Thirty Eight, Days to dispatcher; put out a pick up on a white and rust colored Chevy Caprice, just left the area of Hollister and Hammerly. It will be wanted for FSRA.”, He looked over to Perry, “and I will need a supervisor for an officer down at eighty eight fifty Long Point.”

“Unit calling, I was on public service. Could you repeat that last transmission?” J.D. looked angrily into the mike as he bit his tongue.

“Twenty Nora Thirty Eight Days . . . put out a pick up on a white and rust Chevy Caprice that just ran over an officer. Last seen Hollister and Hammerly. I will need a supervisor at eighty eight fifty Long Point. Did you get that this time, Dearie ?”, still shaking his head at the marvelous abilities that some of the new dispatchers had.

“Clear. All units; just occurred in the area of eighty eight fifty Long Point, an F. S. R. A. involving a white and rust Chevy last seen Hollister and Hannibal.”

“Hammerly! That’s Hammerly!”

“Correction on that last location, make that Hollister and Hammerly.” Turning her attention back to obtain additional information, “Twenty Nora Thirty Eight Days do you have any other details such as a license number or driver information on the suspect vehicle?” J.D. looked to the security guard and within his own memory of the brief encounter.

“Not at this time.”, pausing as he tried to understand what one of the nurses was trying to tell him over the commotion at the scene. “Standby for a moment.. . . He’s dead.” Holding Perry’s lifeless head in her arms. “Twenty Nora Thirty Eight Days . . .That suspect will be wanted for murder of a police officer.”, dropping the mike to the floor of the car. He had never liked Perry; but all the same he was a police officer.

Pecaw's Gift / Chapter 39 Norbert's Jewelry


J. D. finished off another cup of coffee while sitting in his chair at the top of the stairs where he had a view of the sales floor. There were several ancient wooden desks stored on the second floor along with forty six years worth of tax forms stacked in rows of boxes. The gray boxes faded into the darkness as the dust blended the edges one to another. Norbert’s Jewelry Store had been J. D’s extra job for the past eight years. It had started as only a Christmas Season job, standing around in his uniform all day to add an air of dignity to the small jewelry establishment. It was toward the end of Main Street; looking more like a pawn shop than a fine jewelry store. Sal Norbert was exactly what one would have expected; pushy, loud and very very Yiddish. J. D. would smoke his cigars as he walked around the store talking to the salesmen; now he only chewed on them. Each year J. D. purchased a piece; a gold nugget neck chain, a watch or something for his wife. It was good business for the store to keep him on.

“I need to be getting along now Solly.” J.D. mumble as he eased himself out of the chair; reaching down for a half empty paper lunch sack that was on the floor at the edge of the desk.

“Did you see those new diamond stick pins that just came in. Come, I want to see which one you like the best.”, Sal tugged the air in J. D’s general direction. Sal half stepped and slid himself toward the display case. He knew that at least one would be sold before the night was done. “Oh yes!”, pausing to admire the sparkling points of light as they danced off the end of the golden shaft. “This one will look nice on that tie. Come now, let me see, Oh yes this is the one.” Sal talked on and on, never for a moment was there a doubt that the sale was already rung up. “Of course I can knock off, say , fifteen; no, make that a full twenty percent.”

J. D. smiled and grunted through his cigar as he made his tie more accessible. “Such a deal. . .”, sarcastically, “I’ll settle with you on Friday.” The glitter caught the light from the showroom as J.D. walked across the floor towards the front door. Stopping for a few seconds at the full length wall mirror to admire his newest acquisition, “Solly, I don’t think I ever take home any money from this place. It all ends up back in your safe.” There along the back wall of the office were three old vaults. They were turn of the century jewelry safes. The doors had ornate gold trim designs and inside were individual locked compartments for keeping items separated. J.D’s grumbled a nod of approval as Sal wrote up the sale.

“Did I tell you? . . . That diamond came from the same mine as the ones in those earrings that you bought your wife. How is she doing? When are you going to get her that matching necklace?” Patting J.D’s back as he stood next to him at the mirror. “Just like it was made just for that tie! You two will look so good with her wearing that beautiful necklace.”

“Not tonight Solly.” Shaking his head, but smiling at having been set up so well. “I need to see an old friend of mine at the hospital. I’ll be in around noon for lunch; your buying this time.”, reminding Sal of the profit margin on diamond stick pins. J.D. crumpled the edge of the sack tighter in his hands. The brown paper was worn soft from being used for the third day in a row. He still had an apple and a wedge of cheese to snack on later. J.D. locked the several bolts on the front door and walked to his car, talking to himself about having bought the trinket.

“Tomorrow then; and have a nice visit.” Sal dismissed him and walked to the front counter where he had been arranging the diamond rings. He reached to his shoulder and adjusted the elastic suspenders. His thin body made even slimmer as the long stripe of the band sliced down a crisp cotton dress shirt onto a pair of brown slacks.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Pecaw's Gift / Chapter 38 Conversions

“Some interesting data here.” Scott looked over at Sinclair. Reaching up subconsciously with his hand he brushed his eyebrow a couple of times, “Very interesting.”

“Anything in particular?”

“You’re quite a remarkable person.” Scott stopped as he made an effort to phrase his thoughts. “I have . . . never been . . .sold on the idea of religion.” He tried to sound philosophical as he grabbed for words. Most of his adult life he had been surrounded by a scholastic environment. He felt the awkwardness of entering new territory. “I thought that it was a form of escape for those to weak to face the realities of the real world. I . . . could not . . . accept the concept of God. I have always been uncomfortable with things that I could not explain through logic.” His words came out almost as a pleading.

“What are you driving at? Was there something in last night’s ramblings? I haven’t had a chance to read the log. They had me in for blood tests since sunup.”

“Here on page seventy one, where you began thinking about your blessings. . .”, Scott read the lines to himself. He pointed to the middle of the page as he handed the massive accumulation of green bar paper across to Sinclair. “You pray differently than I did as a child. Your prayers are more like conversations, open ended dialogue. Its as if you almost expect to receive an answer from . . .God Himself.”

“Would it surprise you to hear that I do expect answers?”

“Yes, quite frankly it would. I say that. . . how should I put it? Yesterday I would not have had this conversation at all. There is something here in your transcript that begs me to stay a little longer.” Scott had printed out the first hour or so of the transcript, seven hundred forty five pages. The amount of information was awesome. It was the only way to insure that the data was kept in its purist form. Scott turned a few more pages to an image that was staring back at him.

“How did you get this picture mixed in?”, noticing that the pages ran continuously end to end. Sinclair didn’t know he could do that.

“Turn it around; how did You get that in there? I’ve seen it before, or at least something very similar.” He opened the leather brief that was on the desk and pulled out an old copy of the National Geographic Magazine. On the cover was a photograph of the visitor’s center on Temple Square in Salt Lake City. The picture was taken at night and in the center was the famous marble statue of Jesus Christ; His arms extended inviting all to enter His peace. The feature article, “The Mormon Experience”.

“When I first saw the image I knew right away that I’d seen it before. I had to go back several years into my library of old Geographics to find this issue. Fortunately I have them all cataloged and cross referenced.” Scott carefully placed the printed image next to the one from the magazine and waited for Sinclair’s response.

“You got me there.”, studying the two side by side. “It sure looks the same though, doesn’t it?”

“You think that’s strange. . .”, flipping another page of the transcript, “ . . . take a look at this one.” The two eyes came off the paper as if alive. The detail was exquisite, as their gaze followed; no matter where the page was held.

“Do you know who that is; . . . without me telling you?”

“Yes. . . but; I wanted to hear it from you. Its Jesus, the Christ?”

“It’s how I see him when I pray. Does this bother you?” Scott continued to hold the paper with the image in front of him; first from one side and then another as he let his soul escape the prison in which it had been locked. Tears found their way into his eyes, gently running down his cheeks.

“This is the most spiritual experience I’ve ever had. Do you see him often?”

“I can see him almost anytime of the day; that is if I take the time.” Sinclair was embarrassed that sometimes his thoughts often took him into places that the Lord would not go.

“And he really does answer your prayers?”, Scott let the question roll out; cautiously avoiding the part of the transcript a few pages further ahead’

“Yes, sometimes its not the answer I want to hear; but its always what’s best. Sinclair watched as Scott folded his arms.

“Let me ask you this; how can you justify being a cop with all of your Christian beliefs?” Scott’s cynical approach to life had led to his wariness of policemen. “I guess what I mean. . .is . . . do you believe, that its all right to kill?” Sinclair sat back in his chair for a moment as he let the words sink home.

“One of the nurses asked me almost the same question. At first I didn’t know how to answer her. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but for some reason it made me angry and frustrated; kind of caught me off guard.” Sinclair looked at the floor for a few extended moments as he carefully pulled his thoughts together.

“Policemen have so much . . . “, gathering the air with his hands as words tried to express his fears, “. . . potential for the abuse of power.” Scott’s apprehension was not without some merit. “I’m not so sure that I like the idea of giving the all powerful decision of life or death to some kid fresh out of high school.”

“Let me ask you a question. Would you feel any better if you thought that most officers out there working the streets had searched their own hearts on a regular basis?”, pausing as he took in a breath and looked directly into Scott’s eyes. “I know I have the highest regard for the gift of life. I feel sure that most officers do.”

“But what about the ones who don’t ? Can you guarantee that they won’t . . .”

“No guarantees in this life Scott. . .”, Sinclair interrupted, “ . . . you should know that.” Scott conceded the point.

“I suppose your right. Doesn’t it get to you; the job with all the miserable assholes you have to put up with?”

“It does, but only a little at a time. I sometimes wish I’d never joined. I find myself enjoying jokes that are crude or laughing when I shouldn’t. Bev will look at me once in a while to let me know that I’ve gone too far.”

“I’d like to hear more about what you believe. For some reason; I can’t put my finger on it just yet, I want to know more.” Scott picked up the pages once more, gazing at the eyes of the Lord.

“Have you ever read the Book of Mormon Scott?”, as they continued Sinclair had the computer load directly from the hard disk. Vern had bought him the computerized
Scriptures as a “get well” present; nineteen individual disks in all.

“No, but I understand that you Mormons use it instead of the Bible.” Scott had not done too much reading along the lines of religion. He read from the monitor as it brought up one of Sinclair’s favorites.

“And behold, I tell you these things that you may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.” He found himself appreciating the simplicity and wholesome nature of the advice. Scanning over the text at random he would stop once in a while to take in a passage.

“I would like to see more. Can I borrow a copy?”

“I can do better than that. Why don’t you let me Lap Link onto your personal computer. That way you can have all of what are known as the Standard Works; The Bible, Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price and Doctrine and Covenants. They are all cross referenced and I think you will find them easy to access.”

“You say that you use the Bible too? I can remember having to stand up and read aloud in my Sunday School class. At the time my reading skills were not very good. I felt awkward and never enjoyed going to church. I don’t think I’ve picked up a Bible since then.” Scott’s eyes never left the monitor as he talked.

“Your not alone; I didn’t get serious until I was in my late twenties. I started studying the New Testament and then the Book of Mormon. At the time about the only thing I knew about the Mormons was that they crossed the prairies in wagons. We had just started having children and in the back of my mind there were so many questions that I had no answers for. I figured it was time to . . . “ The door to the room opened slightly and Vern Rylan poked his head in.

“Am I disturbing anything? I can come back later.”

“No, come in.” Sinclair was always glad to have Vern in for a visit. “Scott Bartel this is Vern Rylan, my computer Guru.”

“I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Your work here has impressed me.” Scott pointed to the voice synthesizer unit and nodded with genuine favor. “What I would do to get you into my department at the University?” Vern accepted the compliment graciously.

“You’re the one who has been reviewing Sinclair’s ramblings. He sure can manufacture some data, can’t he?” Vern opened his palms as he measured the thickness of printed paper and tried to imagine having to read through it all.

“So, what brings you up here today?” Sinclair cocked an eyebrow in Vern’s direction.

“I need to get some of this stuff out of here.” Vern picked up the Nintendo screen that was no longer needed.

“What’s that for?” Scott noticed the game company name painted clearly on the border.

“We were using it to translate sign language for Sinclair’s roommate. There’s no need for it now.” A silence crept over Vern as he thought about how he missed working to communicate with Mr. Alejandro. They had created a voice to go along with his cheerful personality. Mr. Alejandro would have been proud to have heard it, if he could have. Sinclair looked over to Vern and the two remembered their friend with respect.

“Why don’t you show Scott how it works. He might enjoy it?” Sinclair reached out to help open the screen and plugged in the adapter jacks. “You’ll have to turn on that lamp.”, pointing in Scott’s direction and involving him at the same time. Vern stood in front of the screen and without talking made a few simple signs. The voice synthesizer immediately began the process of converting it into audible English.

“That’s nothin’, watch this.” Sinclair read the bold print from the front page of the newspaper. As he spoke there came a flurry of signs across the monitor of his computer. “Not bad. huh?” Sinclair was showing off Vern’s work to someone who was capable of truly appreciating it.

“How much did you say they were paying you to work here?” Scott’s question was much more direct this time.

“Actually they didn’t pay me to do this at all. I did this on my own.” Vern had not done it for the money anyway.

“No, I mean what kind of a salary do you make here at the hospital?” Vern looked upwards as he visualized his pay stub.

“About twenty five hundred a month, give or take. Why do you ask?”

“I think you might enjoy working for the University if you could learn to live on three thousand a month; plus expenses.” Scott sat back in his chair knowing that his challenge had landed on the mark.

“Three thousand would be nice.” Vern let the idea wander about. “Does that include medical insurance for my family too?” Scott nodded along as he waited to complete the conversion.

“What kind of duties would we be talking about?”

“For starters, I’d have you working to refine this gadget. That should hold your interest for a month or so.”

“Sounds tempting; let me think it over and talk to my wife; before I give you my answer. Is that all right with you?”

There’s no rush.” Scott reached into his pocket and took out one of his business cards. He scratched out the phone number that was printed on the bottom. “I seldom have a need for these. The number’s been changed twice since I had these printed up.” Vern accepted the card and put it in his shirt pocket; then took it out and thoughtfully placed it in his wallet.

“Ya’ see, I told you it was good.” Sinclair smiled as he saw something very positive about to happen for his friend. Vern started to unplug the Nintendo screen from the synthesizer.

“Would it be okay to leave it on?” Scott quickly asked. “I was just starting to consider some of the applications that such a device could be targeted for.” Scott put his hands into the light; casting shadows onto the screen. The computer was not able to merge the random figures with the compendium of known signs.

“Please repeat your last sentence.” The computer flashed the message simultaneously.

“Well I’ll be switched.” Scott laughed as he tried to make the shape of a rabbit.

“You think that’s funny?”, Sinclair quickly signed the word YOUR onto the screen. He could hardly contain himself as the instant reply came out.

“Body blow !”

“I’m still working the bugs out.” Vern looked at Sinclair scornfully. “It was originally part of a boxing game.”

“Don’t apologize; I think you’ve done quite a job here.”

“Quite a JAB too.” Sinclair couldn’t resist.

Pecaw's Gift / Chapter 37 Logged On


Sinclair turned off the voice synthesizer for the night as he quietly said his evening prayer and readied himself for bed. He wondered what kind of thoughts he would find recorded in the morning. Each word instantly ran onto the screen and as the text neared the bottom it was automatically sent to the hard disk for storage. Vern had given the computer a simple command that would repeat every twentieth line so that it was no longer necessary to manually save anything; it All went into storage.

“I guess this is one sure fire way to keep my journal up to date. ( Hahaha. )” Sinclair watched the added on laugh that was not part of his original thought. “The purpose of this, what is this anyway; oh yes, this documentation is to help Scott Bartell find out what is going on inside my head. Sounds like a kind of fruity alcoholic beverage; Scott Bartell. Sorry, just came to mind. I’m naturally crude sometimes.”

Sinclair could see a four pack of cold twelve once bottles filled with translucent grape colored wine. The impact of advertising permeated every part of society. Sinclair had not always been a member of the Church. He had played the fool more than once after having had too much to drink. He reached back to when he was in the Army. A special weekend pass had allowed him the chance to go home to Bev and his folks. It was all a blur excepting the trip back to Georgia. He was at the window looking out at the airplane he was about to board. There was a man standing on a tall triangular based ladder that reached all the way up to the engines. He had the shroud lifted out of his way and with his finger he was following a diagram that was on the inner part of the shroud. He then would turn and follow the same basic line on the engine until he got to a particular area; stop, shake his head and look back at the diagram. After having observed the same exasperated look on the mechanic’s face from several attempts to complete the line, Sinclair was not at all pleased to see the man slam the shroud back into place and tighten all the bolts. There was something wrong and nothing done to fix it.


“I’m not getting on until I have a chance to talk with that mechanic!” Watching the man as he came up the external stairway and into the main building, Sinclair cornered him and conveyed his concerns.

“Nothing to worry about. These newer jets can fly just as well on three. I wouldn’t let it bother you.” The answer was not at all what he had expected. Sinclair boarded the plane with the idea that it was time to get good and drunk. The booking agents must have been on his side; having over booked the flight, Sinclair was given the only seat left on the plane. He had never flown in First Class before, but he did know that he was going to get a proper meal and all the drinks he could swallow on the way to Atlanta. If it was to be his last meal he at least would have a good one. It didn’t matter that the plane was taking off two hours late and that he would miss his connection in Atlanta back to the base. Heck, he might not get there at all.

“ Another one, please and some olives if they’re are any?” The jet stream was much farther south than usual and the pilot found it pushing them, hurtling as it were, toward record matching speeds. The lost time was most nearly made up as the pilot’s voice broke the air.

“Ladies and Gentlemen this is your pilot speaking. We have taken advantage of some very strong tail winds and will be making our final approach into Atlanta within the next ten minutes. We are aware that many of you will be making connecting flights. Most of the flights out of Atlanta have been delayed because of the rain and you will more than likely be able to make your next flight. Please have the Flight Attendant assist you as you exit the aircraft as needed. Once again thank you for flying Delta.”

Sinclair took a moment to glance at his watch as he tried to figure out how much time had been made up. “Houston to Atlanta in an hour and a half?” It didn’t make sense. “Just think what they could have done with all four engines working. We could have gotten here before we took off. Hahahaha.”

The pilot had been correct, his connecting flight to Augusta was still waiting on the ground; it too had mechanical problems. As he boarded the aircraft he noticed right away that the air was hot and stuffy. There were three men in overalls going down the isle checking the over head luggage bins.

“Something wrong with the air conditioning?” , Sinclair asked one of them as he felt for air movement out of the square port just above his seat.

“Yea, we’re working on it now.”

“It’s no big deal to me, can’t we just get going? I’m late getting back as it is.”

“It’s not as simple as that. Without the air conditioning you wouldn’t be able to breath.”

“Take all the time you need.” Sinclair wondered how long it would be before he could order another drink. An hour later the plane made its way down to the end of the runway. It was now late into the evening as the rain fell from the sky. Sinclair was past worrying about being late. He was wondering how much trouble he was in. “I’d like a drink please; make that two!”

“You’ll have to wait until the plane is in the air, Sir.”

“Oh, I thought we were.” Laughing to himself was a sure sign that he had already had one too many. The short flight into Augusta and the ride back to Fort Gordon ended the miracle weekend. Sinclair stumbled into the company office and explained his situation. The sergeant behind the desk listened as the story came full circle.

“I suppose it wasn’t entirely your fault. Tell you what; you stand guard duty tonight while you sober up and we can forget all about it.” Sinclair had been given a reprieve.

The memory danced across the monitor and became part of his recorded thoughts for the night as he fell off to sleep.

“Scott Bartell; still sounds like some grocery store brand wine to me. Hahaha, sorry.” He read the words and laid himself down; closing his eyes as the pillow contoured itself around the base of his neck.

“Mild pain requiring attention one and a third inches above the left knee.” Sinclair reached down and rubbed his leg. The monitor registered his activity. As he rubbed the area he was reassured that he had sufficiently attended to the need. “You may resume pre-sleep preparations.” He had not yet reached the point of slumber and he noticed the slight change of light in the room caused by the words jumping onto the monitor. He looked at them through one eye.

“That’s interesting; I didn’t think those words.” Sinclair thought for a moment and then realized that he had just been rubbing his leg. “I guess this quiet time could get to be interesting. Its even getting the neuromuscular activity. “He rolled back and practiced a ritual to help himself relax. He would think about a specific part of his body and instruct that area to relax. Then one part of his body after another would work the kinks out and in a matter of a few short minutes he was totally relaxed.

“Arms; relax and allow the bed to support you. Elbow; bend a little more; that’s better, much more natural. Wiggle your fingers and let them relax too. Okay, now the muscles in your face are still trying to hold their tension. Your jaw is stiff; swallow and let your tongue settle. Now relax your lips and take a more natural breath. That’s better; now the wrinkles on your forehead need to soften along with your eyebrows. Look out into the eternities as you think about how peaceful it is here. Your shoulders are still too tight. Let them fall to the sheets as you feel the tension leave your body. It feels much better now.”

“Good night, Sir, and thank you.” Sinclair looked upwards with his eyes still closed, to a place inside his head as he contemplated the many blessing that he had been given. “Thank you for my lovely wife, my children who are always in my thoughts, the professionals here at the hospital who are tending to my every need, the chance to examine my thoughts on this marvelous contraption. . .” The edge of sleep mixed with the fading fabric of reality as he reported each and every impulse. Sinclair had not mastered the art of inserting graphics into his text recordings; however as he continued to dwell on his many blessings, he could see a clear image of his Father in Heaven.

“. . . Thank you for the Gospel and my chance to improve each day. Thank you for my Savior who has done so much for me.” The computer began to accept the thought much the same way that a printer accepts one line at a time; the entire image formed on the screen. Starting at the top and working down to the eyes, the eyes that looked back at Sinclair as he focused on the eternal nature of his own soul, the monitor began to record the image. Most of the features were incomplete at best, but the eyes were almost three dimensional as the detail of his thoughts became fixed on the screen.

Sinclair had no way of knowing that this particular vision was being saved onto the computer’s hard disk. He had passed into his first level of sleep and was moving rapidly into his first dream period.

“In . .the name. .. . of ... ....Jesus . .. ..Christ, .. ... .Amen.”, Sinclair’s thoughts came so slowly. He knew that it was impolite to start a conversation with the Lord and not wait for a reply. His mind struggled as he repeated parts of his prayer, not sure where he had drifted off in sleep. The moments became minutes as his day came to an end.

“Good night Sinclair, I Am with you.”, the computer recorded the response that Sinclair’s mind heard. The illumination from the computer cast a ghostly glow across the room; much the same as a television set left on after the late late show. Line after line being recorded as his every thought, his every internal command found its way across the darkness. Pleasant dreams and nightmares, flights of fancy together with passions of the flesh surfaced on the back lighted screen.

“Five Frank Twenty Five . . .”, the familiar voice of his regular dispatcher rambled into his thoughts. He was lying on his back on the cool ground. His mind replayed the event and his body responded by lowering his temperature slowly. There was a moment of panic as he felt himself slipping from control. The night air filled his nostrils as he lay in a broken heap.

“Five Frank Twenty Five . . . Five Frank Twenty Two what is your E.T.A.; Five Frank Twenty Five is not responding?” As the units got closer he could hear the wailing sirens. He looked up to where the railing had broken away just moments ago. He studied the faces of the men looking back at him. For a moment he recognized one of them. Straining harder to see, his body not keeping pace with his desire to remain alert, the figure faded into the shadows. The muscles in his neck, exhausted from the battle with gravity, relaxed as Sinclair fell into his pillow.

“Are you all right Mr. Dosilmeyer?” Launa the night shift nurse stood over him as the beads of sweat rolled off.

“Ummmm . . . Huummm . . .” Sinclair vocalized his need for human intervention as the nightmare replayed once more. She had heard his moaning and stayed with him, holding his hand much the same way a mother clutches a sick child. The computer continued to record his thoughts and she was able to understand what he was experiencing. The nightmare was there, his fears and his emotions mixed one after the other. Every word he had heard came back time and time again, certain parts of the event were played over and over.


With each successive replay the detailed graphics that he was able to generate took on a more representative likeness. Launa could almost make out the forms of persons frozen at the edge of the balcony even though the images were broken. There would be a quarter inch of graphics, then a line of instructional data, then another fourth of an inch of graphics as a continuation of the original thought. It was like the back page of the old “Mad Magazine”. She looked at each line; all the while trying to imagine how the picture would look if the alternating lines were folded or removed. Once in a while a face would appear on the screen, then just as quickly it would sink into the shadows.

“It’s all right, it’s all right.”, stroking the top of his hand more vigorously as she began to feel his tormented spirit. Tears began to fall from her cheeks with each passing moment. He had recycled the dream; not from the start, but only the part where the men were looking down at him. Over and over he looked into their faces as he tried to see the one face that he knew; their images being manufactured on the screen one at a time. The imperfect sketches were passed on to the hard drive.

“You can’t hide from me now. I know you are there. Come out where I can see you.” Sinclair’s mind sorted through the stored memory relentlessly. “I see you there behind the post.” There on the screen was a fairly clear picture of a man half way behind a post. He was trying to blend in with the rest of the people and yet somehow he just didn’t fit in. He was different in appearance.

“Can you look at him again?” Launa coached Sinclair as he continued the dream.

“Look at the man in the business suit again for me. I think I know that face too.” Launa watched on from her front row seat. She wondered to herself how she could have recognized part of Sinclair’s dream; it was a dream, wasn’t it? He had gotten better at sending images to the monitor. At first he had tried to get the whole image, now he was scanning only parts of the image at a time. The lines scooted across the top of his head forming a hair line. Then after the four or five lines would hit the monitor, a few lines of text before the next part of the image was sent. There was much more detail as his eyebrows were painted into position this time. The bridge of his nose and his angular cheeks fell into place as Sinclair fed the memory out one line at a time.

“Sgt. Perry?” Sinclair wondered to himself how Sgt. Perry could have gotten into his dream.

“That’s the one. Yes I have seen him here at the hospital.” Launa read the name of Sgt. Perry as it too had been sent to the computer. Launa was familiar with most of the accounts relating to Sinclair’s injuries. She watched the two struggle for a gun, the image presented was a whirling of shadows as only Sinclair could have seen it. The imperfect transmission was not the same as watching a video tape. The figures being generated darted by so quickly as Sinclair’s memories pulled and twisted along.

From the apartment door came the man in the business suit. He came toward Sinclair in a hurry. She watched as the two men crashed past the confines of the railing. Sinclair sent his thoughts as patches of reality mixed with strong emotions. The muscles in his body wrenched as once more he tarried in mid air.

“What would Sgt. Perry be doing at that apartment and why; after the you fell to the ground, did he not respond to your need for immediate help?” Launa couldn’t conceive of a rational or logical reason how another police officer could shirk his given responsibilities; it was unthinkable. “Maybe this just some wild nightmare that has combinations of reality mixed in to fit?” Launa continued to watch as Sinclair tossed and turned through each successive moment; he could hear her comments.


“I don't think so; but my memory could be playing tricks on me. Thanks for staying with me. I feel better now and will get back to sleep.” Sinclair’s answer joined the rest of his thoughts and became part of the transcript.

“You get some sleep now; its all over.” Launa continued to massage his hand.

“Muuurrrrppppphhhh.” Sinclair drifted off.

“Sweet dreams until morning, rest now.” She placed his hand back onto the sheets. He acknowledged with a slight nod. Launa kissed his forehead as she would one of her children who had been awakened by a bad dream.

***********

“Julie, this is Moe, I need to talk with Mr. Sanderson.”


Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Pecaw's Gift / Chapter 36 Frazetta


“You're making fine progress. It would seem that your trips to the Physical Therapy Department have been very productive.” Dr. Chatterly pulled and twisted on Sinclair’s legs as he talked, observing the extent of improvement along with the pain level that presented itself in mild grimaces and flinches.

“It is nice to be able to move about. You could use some time up there too.”, reminding Dr. Chatterly of how attractive Eva was. It was purely coincidence that Sinclair reached a pain threshold and let out a yelp as Dr. Chatterly pushed on the knee joint. “Hey! That hurt!” Sinclair waited a moment as the muscles in his jaw released their tension. “Was that a hint or are you still checking out the knee?”

“The knee looks fine.”, his hands guiding the lower half of the leg out and then back again. He stopped in mid sentence; his own awkward thoughts infiltrated the open wound of his soul. He could see Eva’s face crisp and clear, floating pleasantly in a forbidden corridor of desire. Taking a deep breath in through his nostrils; he could extract her scent from out of his memory, he closed his eyes.

“I didn’t know you felt that way about me Doc.”, oozing his words sarcastically. Chatterly recovered slowly from his mind trip to find he had been softly massaging Sinclair’s leg.

“I . . . uh . . .”

“Your stuck on her, big time.”

“Can’t get her out of my head. It wouldn’t be so bad if I were single; but I’m married and love my wife. For a while it was just a simple fascination; now I have a hard time picturing my wife’s face when I close my eyes. All I see is Eva’s face, her dark hair swept back forcing me to focus on her eyes and her totally disarming smile.” Chatterly closed his eyes again as he began describing the vision. His voice broke as he admitted to himself that he was in a real jam. Opening his eyes as he turned to look directly at Sinclair, “When I realized that I was becoming too familiar I ran away. I’ve stayed as far away from her as possible here at the hospital. Now, all you did was mention her name and my mind instantly was pursuing some wild delusion that she might care for me. What am I going to do?” Chatterly sank deeper into the chair.

“Maybe you better carry a picture of your wife and look at it during the day. I keep a picture of Bev in my wallet.”, reaching over to open the drawer and grab is wallet. The black leather covering had worn a distinctive outline from the badge rubbing against it from within. Sinclair opened it, smiling to himself as he looked forward to seeing the photograhs of his family, “Have a look; these are my kids. The oldest is Bonnie, then Jennifer and the chuckle head is William.” A great feeling of accomplishment filled Sinclair as he flipped through the pages of his life. He paused just long enough for Chatterly to nod before going to the next picture. “You’ve met my wife, Bev. This is how I see her. The two had been to Olin Mills all dressed up and feeling very much in love. The image had captured their feelings for each other on paper. The red dress complimented her winter colors and the large silvery buttons seemed to act as pointers to her smile. Sinclair was looking at his young bride and for the moment he was inside the picture. Chatterly sat up as he saw a transformation taking place before him. The wrinkles were melting away one by one from Sinclair’s face as if time itself had been reversed.

“I see what you mean. She is a fine looking woman.”

“Hard to believe that picture was taken over ten years ago; seems like only yesterday.” Sinclair let his breath out slowly as he held the picture out for Chatterly to see once more.

“You paint a good picture of how life should be. I wish it were more like that for me.”, a hint of self pity surfaced as he complimented Sinclair’s family life and simultaneously found the holes in his own.

“Think about the day you married your wife. What kind of thoughts did you store away?” Chatterly looked off into space as the question focused on a particular day. Forgetting that he was a medical professional, his thoughts quietly searched and sifted the files of life. He rambled peacefully through fields holding hands with his new bride on their way to a secluded lake. They had rented a cottage for their honeymoon. A smile found its way onto his face as he too was remembering his favorite moments.

“There’s hope for you yet.”

“I suppose you’re right. I think its time for me to take some time off and get my head screwed on straight; which brings me to the other reason I wanted to talk with you.”
Chatterly picked up Sinclair’s chart subconsciously. Glancing over his notes and picking
up where he had left off, “I see that you’ve been having some interesting experiences.”

“Anything in particular or just the usual patient who talks to his computer type of stuff?”, as Sinclair waited for a more specific direction.

“I’m not going to try and tell you that I understand all the stuff that is going on with you. I’ll be the first to say that I’m at a loss trying to give you a medical explanation for the way you can communicate the way you do. My specialty is fixing bones and muscles, not . . .” Chatterly could not find the right combination of words.


“Let me guess; you want me to visit the shrink again?” Sinclair had been visited by just about every specialist that was on staff.

“Not this time; I already know that your crazy.”, looking across the page and laughing. “I read the results of your tests from the last time. Your interpretations of the ink blots were interesting. I particularly liked the one that you said reminded you of Frazzetta’s art work. You must have blown Dr. Laramore away with that one.”

“Well, it did look an awful lot like one of his posters; it was called, “The Mammoth”. Are you familiar with his work?”

“Yes, in fact I have a couple of books at home that show several of his better posters. I went back over them and I’d have to agree with you; it did look very similar to the ink blot picture.” Chatterly was moderately impressed with Sinclair's wide range of interests.

“So, who is it that you want me to see?”

“His name’s Scott Bartell, he’s done some extensive work in the area of brain function abnormalities at Baylor University. He’s expressed an interest in your particular challenge. He wants to put you in one of his test tubes for awhile.”

“ Hey, why not; he’s not into electric shock stuff or anything, right?” Sinclair waited for a moment.

“Never on the first visit.”, as Chatterly contained his laugh. “He told me that one of his classmates had done some work with plants back in the early sixties that made waves in the accepted sciences. He was cutting leaves in half and placing them on specially treated photographic paper.” Sinclair sat up as he listened more closely.

“The energy released by the leaf was enough to present a crisp image. The interesting part was that even though there was only half of a leaf on the plate, it would imprint the image of the entire leaf; not a mirror image of the half that was left, but the original whole leaf. Kind of weird stuff, huh? Anyway, the unanswered questions that came about have led him looking for similar type situations in other life forms.”

“This is gonna sound strange, but I remember having read about that a long time ago. It was in the Academy of Science monthly publication. My grandfather was a member and had me put on their mailing list.” Sinclair enjoyed being able to jump into the conversation and felt a surge of excitement. “Once I read all about some kind of sail boat that had a rigid sail made out of corrugated tin or a fiberglass. This boat . . “, Sinclair made the shape of a triangle with his hands as he explained, “. . . would go faster than the wind that was pushing it.”

“Sinclair, there are very few things about you that would surprise me.”

“So when do I get to meet your friend?”

“I was thinking that the two of you could have lunch; say, tomorrow? I went over some of the aspects of your condition; your ability to project thoughts directly into the computer along with your inability to screen out all the rest of the garbage. He was eager; more like hungry, to meet you and get started as soon as possible. Who knows, maybe you will make it into next month’s Academy of Science as a feature article.”


“Sounds good to me; but who’s paying for all this?”

“Its on the house, no charge. When I mentioned what you had already